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Portals and Gates

I am delighted to report that our purchase of Bill Gates has been accepted (for an undisclosed sum) and that his body will be shipped over to safe location in Middlesex until a purpose-built and permanent home can be found for him. Unfortunately his solicitors are still quibbling about whether the sale includes his brain; if that has to be left behind in the United States then we will have another transplanted in its place. Any volunteers?
The Festival is going well at Greenwich Park, although the artistic massacre of all the resident squirrels (another stroke of genius by our very own Chaleco Salvavidas) and the festive "cadaver mobiles" hanging from the trees (how slowly and mysteriously they swing! How their glazed eyes glisten in the winter sun!) has brought down the wrath of the Crown. Apparently in this Royal Park, any such light-hearted whimsy is frowned upon and we await a letter from Buckingham Palace's solicitors.

posted by Berthold Anfanger on November 29, 2007 | Permalink